Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A new found enjoyment

Beautiful Colours

He made the leaves turn colour
and told the roses "one last bloom"
before a frigid over-taking.
The squirrels collected and
stored food to last through
the icy winter months.

Cold and powerful, the wind
swept through everything
it could touch.
The rain, turning from warm
to cold, warned of the snow
that would soon cover the
hardening ground.
No longer is the dirt and
rich soil able to give
life and make strong
the plants and flowers.

To some,
death was closing in,
quietly invading.
Taking over the life
that had just begun
months before.
They give up themselves
and their souls.

But to others,
a quiet, peaceful sleep
was entering in gently.
The One who breathed life
was whispering a lullaby.

It was time for rest,
a time for renewal.
A time to heal and recuperate
before the next biggest reveal
when the pouring rains should come again.

The view, so serene and full of prayer.
One day when we become
stronger and the most vibrant
in colour we'll ever be.

I've never really written like this before. I started writing in a journal before I go to bed, and write my last thoughts. This poem, I guess I could call it, was just something I had on my mind. When I read it to my mom the next afternoon, she started to tear up and suggested that I take a writing class. Perhaps...


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Nothing to Prove

Hey folks,
    I know it's been forever since I've been on and posted anything..I'm sorry!
          Life gets crazy. There's a lot to think about. Feeling like we're short on time...So I just want to share with you this song that I heard on SiriusRadio the other day, and it made me slow down for a second to think.

Nothing to Prove
by Phillips, Craig and Dean

You taught me how to ride a bike, 
tie my shoes and fly a kite,
how to swim and how to fish, 
to see a star and make a wish,
said it's ok to make mistakes
just don't get stuck in yesterday
forgive, forget and move ahead
because life is what you make of it.

Now you're gone, and all I have
 are memories I hold dear.
But if I'm quiet, I hear your voice
still ringing in my ears

Saying live with no excuses,
love with no regrets,
laugh a lot and leave this life with nothing left unsaid,
make this world a better place,
don't be afraid to cry.
And when it's finally time to say goodbye,
there's nothing to prove,
nothing to lose, 
nothing to hide.

You see life can not be measure by
the place you live, the car you drive, 
the thing that counts the day you die,
is who are, and what's inside.

So tell the truth, don't ever lie,
integrity at any price,
your words, your bond, your highest price.
So guard it close, and live your life.

So many things I learned from you,
'bout life and love and play.
But I learned more by how you lived, 
And why I heard you say,

Live with no excuses,
love with no regrets,
laugh a lot and leave this life with nothing left unsaid,
make this world a better place,
don't be afraid to cry.
And when it's finally time to say goodbye,
there's nothing to prove,
nothing to lose, 
nothing to hide.

I only want to live my life half as well as you,
to leave behind what I received, it's all I want to do.

"Do not worry worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Mathew 6:34.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

.'.'.Give Me a Sign.'.'.

This song brings me back every time, to the God who has everything under control.


Light up the Sky - The Afters

When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in


So I run straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do


That You are with me
That You are with me

Monday, March 7, 2011

Sitting by the Candle Light

First of all,

Oh man, where has time gone?! I haven't blogged since Valentine's day!
Hopefully that will change, because I have quite a few things I want to blog about.

I'll get right on that.

Definitely need  to describe my amazing trip to Florida and Disney World.
Why I'm not enjoying school.
And how out of touch I feel with all of my friends.
Until then...

I LOVE candles

My mom adores candles. I got that from my mom.
Candles EVERYWHERE. And they have to be beautiful smelling ones.

Vanilla is my absolute favourite

When company comes over, they ALL get lit.
Half an hour before hand, so the house smells amazing.

Candles are also VERY romantic. 
Whoever my man ends up to be, I hope he puts the two together. 
It'll be very hard for me to say no if candles are involved.

Unfortunately, it is time do my art homework. 
A bid you all a good night!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Beautiful Love

Personally, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day.

Why is their only one specific day to make your loved one feel special? Why about all of the other days of the year? Why not every day of the year?

It just seems limited.

On another level, my mom has it rough. She's going through so much. Raising five psychotic children, dealing with finances, being as involved as she can all the time, family being supported only by a half day teaching position, two family members dealing with Autism, and two sons still in high school each begun a relationship or close to it (just to name a few). And if that wasn't enough, she decided to go to Teachers College to become a teacher to help financially support our family. Since September, it has been utter chaos at the Hesman house. How do we keep on going? This is nuts. Everyone is on each other's nerves all the time, yelling all the time. Dinner at the dinner table together...I don't even remember the last time.
Where is the love?! HOW?
I don't understand. Neither do I understand how my mom manages to stay strong through it all. She is the most Godly woman I know. I completely look up to her. I wish I could be a mother like her someday.

We never used to get along. It was my dad and me. We were both the quiet type. He had the awesome, typical, father sense of humour.
But when things changed after the move to Windsor, we didn't get along anymore. Since my mom and I had completely different personality's, we just didn't agree.
Though for a time, not having a parent to talk to, I needed to do something. My mom and my relationship has gotten SOOO much better in the last 6 years.

My favourite's:
- me doing nothing after my last fifth year semester, sticking around home from February-April and spending lots of time with my mom at home
- dates involving clothes shopping and appetizers at Applebee's (YUM)
- dreaming about her house on the Detroit River right beside the University of Windsor
      - big enough to fit all five of us and our spouses and children when we come back for Christmas
      - room to rent for university students
      - park/playground across the street perfect for football games
      - playground in the back
      - property goes all the way to the river
      - a little island off of the property
      - super huge, very old house with LOTS of character

I LOVE MY MOMMA. You are the most amazing mother ever. I'm so proud of you.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

dance, dance until I die

Thursday Night Latin Dance
First two weeks was Ballroom Dance, but there was only a four person turn out. 
Unfortunately became cancelled.


I got the choice of attending Latin instead.
       I LOVE it.

We're learning the Beat Jive and the Cha-Cha. I adore the Beat Jive.
 It is SO much fun. Very exhilarating.

The Cha-Cha is a lot of fun as well, but I'm having a harder time getting the moves right. 
Lots of hip movement! Aha.
This move is called New York. It's the hardest one
to do properly in the Cha-Cha
My mom and I have always fantasized that when us five kids each got married or had a bf/gf, we would go out and get dancing lessons. 
               But, when we started watching Dancing with the Stars back last spring, I just had to try it.
So this year I did the plunge and tried it out. 
       Dancing is so much fun. My sister and I make up moves to almost every song we listen to. We memorize songs like Hannah Montana's "Hoedown Throwdown". Or we watch youtube videos from camp rock hundreds of times until we can accomplish the dance. (Sadly, I have learned most of the dance moves from the entire movie of Camp Rock 2: Final Jam).
                             My partner last week, happened to be amazing. It was his first dance class, but he led! There's a little bit of pushing and pulling involved. Hard to explain with words, but but it's all in his hand with mine. This guy, pretty much mastered that. Twirling me around and leading the dance moves we were learning (since we seemed to be learning faster than the other 30 people in the class) we had time to fool around. 
     Best night so far. 

I'd love to continue with this. I'd take latin/ballroom over hip hop any day! Unless my sister was in the same hip hop class...

     Get up and dance, never stop until I die
                      I dance before the Lord, it pleases him so.
             He's the leader in this one, don't ever let me go!

Chapter Four

       Brenwyyn woke up to a noise in her tent. She slowly grabbed the light on her left, trying not to make a sound, and got ready to strike at whatever caused the disturbance. With her other hand, she quickly turned on the other light.
       Sitting on the same blue chair she had tried out the night before, was Prince Ruthord. For one second she contemplated throwing the light anyways.
       “What are you doing in here?” she asked.
       “Well, since we will be married, I thought I would come over here and get to know my future wife,” he said.
       “Don’t I get any say in this matter?” Brenwyyn asked, letting a hint of distaste show.
       “Of course! You get to tell me about yourself. Oh, you were thinking about getting married to me,” he laughed. “No, I get to do and have whatever I want.” His smile was sickening. Brenwyyn despised him. She actually disliked him even more meeting him in person.
       “How about I ask the questions and you just simply answer them. Why don’t you start with your name?”
       “Brenwyyn” she huffed.
       “I love it,” a very deceiving smile crossing his face. “How many siblings do you have?”
       Brenwyyn knew that it was a bad idea if he knew her family. If she escaped she only wanted him to search for her. “None,” she replied.
       “Only child are we? Me too!” There was a pause. “Have you ever been out of this village before?”
       “No” Brenwyyn was not very happy, and the prince could tell.
       “Why don’t you like me?” He pretended to pout.
       Brenwyyn couldn’t help answering. “You kill innocent people. How does someone do that and be ok with it? Sure you make it look like other people do it, but it’s just because you don’t want to actually do the dirty work yourself! You are also spoiled and completely arrogant!”
       “How do you know if they’re innocent or not? And how do know if I’m the one sending killers out? You have no proof.”
       “You’re unbelievable, so sneaky, hiding behind lies and deceit.”
       “Well how about we finish off for tonight and we’ll get together tomorrow. Your guards will escort you to my dining tent at ten tomorrow morning for breakfast. Be ready.” He blew a kiss as he left.
        Brenwyyn wanted to scream after him, yelling how he was a coward. The kiss, however, disgusted her and she was too late to say anything because he has already disappeared. wanted to get out of there even more than before. Now that she knew he was nauseating, she couldn’t stand to be near him for another second.
       Brenwyyn sat on her bed thinking for a few minutes and then decided to take her escape. She noticed it was dark out so she went behind her bed and tried lifting the back of the tent up. She could easily slip through and run away. She then wondered if it could be a trap. Prince Ruthord wouldn’t let small things like that go undone. She knew though, that right now, it‘d be her best chance. After checking to see that no one was coming, she quickly crawled out of the tent and darted behind a barrel. She was free and there was no trap. She ran as fast and as quietly as she could, hiding behind something if she saw someone approaching. She made it far out of the camp and kept running. She entered the area of houses where it was a bit safer, looking out for Torax that could still be roaming and searching.
       She ran past a house and slammed into someone. She looked up from her position on the ground and noticed it was her friend, Emerelle.
       “Bren, is that you?” Emerelle asked bewildered.
       “Yes, it’s me.”  Brenwyyn replied. “Thank goodness you’re okay!” They gave each other a big hug.
       “What’s going on? I’m so scared! There’s nobody around and my parents and my sisters have all disappeared!” she cried.
       “Prince Ruthord has come and was looking for a wife. He has control of the Torax somehow and was using them to hunt down and herd everyone towards Town Hall. All of the young women of Fairewood had to get washed up, put on a dress and make-up and go in front of Prince Ruthord so he could pick the lucky girl to be his wife,” Brenwyyn explained.
       “That’s awful! I feel so bad for the “lucky” girl.”
       “Well thanks. Cause that’s me,” Brenwyyn said, depressed.
       “What! No way! I mean, you are definitely one of the most beautiful girls here in Fairewood, but what are you going to do?”
       “I’m going to run. I was able to escape, but my disappearance will be found out sooner or later.”
       “Then run as far as you can and keep going. Never stop! He always gets what he wants!”
       “Well, not this time.”
       “I hope so! Be safe! I’ll miss you!”
       “I’ll miss you too!” they gave each other a long hug and said their last farewells.
       Brenwyyn was struggling to catch her breath while she ran because of her crying. She was so scared to leave the place that she knew so well, where everyone knew who she was. She was scared she would never see her friends again, or more importantly, her parents.
       When she finally arrived at the safe house, undetected, she noticed that it was closed. Brenwyyn wondered if they had already left. She decided to go in just in case. She climbed down slowly and softly landed on the floor. Suddenly, someone grabbed her waist and squeezed. When Brenwyyn looked down she could see the outline of Loranne holding onto her.
       “Brenwyyn! I’m so glad you’re safe! We were so worried! Garrett said we were going to have to leave without you.”
       “Well I’m here. Stop worrying. We have to leave now though. I’ll tell you guys what happened after we leave. Right now we need to get supplies like food and clothes and everything we’ll need for our long journey.”
       “Wait, what are you wearing? What’s the fancy dress for?” Mythran laughed.
       “I’ll explain later. Right now we need to get going as fast as we can!”
       “Fine. What do we need?” asked Mythran, who was ready to get going.
       “We need to get the wagon and the horses hooked up. Garrett, if you can take Mythran to do that and then meet us over by the forest, that’d be great. Niilus and Loranne will come with me and we’ll get food, clothes, blankets, and anything else we might need.”
       Garrett and Mythran took off towards to the stable, while Niilus, Loranne, and Brenwyyn headed toward the leftovers of their house. When they arrived they went to the garden first and loaded as many fruits and vegetables as they could into baskets. They got potatoes, tomatoes, strawberries, beans, cucumbers, apples, lettuce and five sunflowers. They brought the baskets to the area where they were to meet their other brothers, and then went back to collect more items.
       They entered the house and found seven blankets mostly intact and seven pairs of clothes for each person. After they brought the blankets and clothes to the meeting place, they went to the cellar and got all of the meat and as many spice’s that hadn’t been destroyed or broken. On the way to the meeting place, Loranne noticed her art supplies and grabbed them.
       “Can I bring these, Brenwyyn?” she asked.
       “I don’t know. They would take up needed space. But you know what, we should all grab something to remind us of our life here in Fairewood.”
       “Thank you Bren!”
       “Can I bring something too?” Niilus asked.
       “Of course. We’ll bring all of this stuff to the pile first and then we can go and look for an item each. We’ll go together, though, I don’t want you getting hurt or anything. Loranne, will you be alright if you stayed by the pile? Garrett and Mythran will be expecting us so you can tell them where we are and that they can grab something for themselves too?”
       “Yes, I can do that,” she replied.
       Niilus and Brenwyyn dropped off their load and headed back to the house, one last time. Niilus found his trunk he had made with their dad. It was special to him because of the fact that he was the youngest boy and didn’t get to have as much father and son time. They had a lot of fun working on that together.
       When Brenwyyn passed from the kitchen into the front room, she found a picture of their parents that Loranne had painted and new tears started streaming down her face. She was still having a hard time thinking of her parents being gone for forever, but she kept in mind that she saw her mother back at Town Center. She knew that if she told her siblings that they would be very unhappy towards her decision that they’re priority was to get out of Fairewood as fast as possible. Brenwyyn made up her mind that when her siblings were completely safe, she would go back and search for them.
       When she went to look in her parents’ bedroom she found her mother’s jewellery box and knew that that would be something that her mother would like back if she was to find her again.
       Brenwyyn couldn’t think of anything in particular that she wanted to keep so she went to retrieve Niilus from looking. When she found Niilus in their father’s wood shop, she saw him sitting on a stool, crying.
       “Niilus! Everything will turn out. Just wait and see,” Brenwyyn went beside her brother and gave him a side hug.
       “What if we never see our parents ever again?” Niilus’ tears came out all the faster.
       “I will find them. I promise.” Brenwyyn tried her best to reassure him. “Though we won’t have any chance of seeing them if we don’t get out of here now. I know that sounds pretty confusing, but I’ll be able to tell you all more when we leave.”
       Niilus stopped crying and took a breathe. He stood up and they gave each other a hug.
       “Alright, let’s get out of here. Oh, and I thought maybe it’d be a good idea to bring a stool for each of us. It’ll be a little more comfy than the ground.”
       “Good idea.” They both smiled and grabbed five stools and headed back to meet Garrett and Mythran.
       When they made it back, Garrett and Mythran were waiting there with Blazer and Heman attached to the wagon, ready to go.
       “So, we’re all ready to go. We packed everything on already,” said Garrett.
       “Yes, I think we’re all ready,” said Brenwyyn. They all looked back and stared back at everything they knew, knowing they would probably never see it again. All of them sighed and decided it time to head off.
       They started walking down the road when they heard a dog whimpering. Mythran went to investigate cautiously where the sound was coming from. When he pushed the bush back, he found Snowflake, the family dog. She was a big black dog. Their dad named her Snowflake because they got her on the day of the first snow of that winter.
       “Snowflake!” said Mythran excitedly. Everyone else was able to relax and they were all excited that Snowflake was still alive after she had disappeared right before chaos erupted from the take over.
       “She has a cut on her, Bren!” Loranne, said, worried. Brenwyyn found the cut on her left side, about as long as her hand. The crusted blood was evidence that it had been a while since she had got the cut.
       “She’ll be okay, Loranne. It’s stopped bleeding, so we just have to watch her if it starts to bleed anymore. Let’s make her a spot in the wagon where she can rest,” said Brenwyyn.
After Snowflake got settled into her new spot, the little family was finally off headed to an unknown future.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Depression, Respect?

Wow. This is a hard subject to think and talk about.

           Definitely didn't help after a weekend of renewed sadness and family drama, my first lecture on Monday morning happened to be on depression and suicide. This information is all too familiar to me, unfortunately...

                     There are so many underlying factors within my family, that it'd be hard to explain it all. I just feel I need to share some of this, and get it out of my head, so please bear with me.

When I was growing up, life was pretty fantastic. One of my favourite memories was when my dad told the five of us kids "Sillygump and Ghahuliflaven" stories. (Sorry, I don't remember how to spell G's name. Aha). This would consist of us telling him an object (ex. a balloon) and he'd have to incorporate into this story. (This all happened in the living room, this didn't ACTUALLY happen!).

We would climb up the giant tree in the back yard, up to the clouds. We would paddle over the lake, and make our way over to this castle. Barney the Bear, Gregory the Gorilla, Panthera the Panther and others that I don't remember would be there. We'd go on adventures, fighting trolls or helping someone escape from the dungeons of the Man in Black.
This part is most for real. There was a two year time period that my family didn't have a vehicle because money was tight, so we would walk to the Oshawa Library or the Oshawa Center (Wooo for the OC!). It was about an hour long walk, so we would continue with the story. Sometimes we would see Crazy Koala chasing on the back of a bus, and we all had to hide. 
It was so much fun. I miss it so much.

But after a few sad things in my family's life, including moving down to the Windsor area, things started taking a turn for the worse. Stories stopped. My Dad only got a half time teaching position (still does) and my mom has been a stay at home mom my entire life. Money got even tighter. Family got stressful.
My dad was told he had depression. There were really rough periods of time where things got really rough, painful for everyone involved.
In some ways, it's gotten better. 
But life is still hard. Money is still tight. There's still name calling and swearing.

How do I respect him?! I have no idea how. I want to be away from him. I don't like being near him. It's horrible and I hate the fact that I can't respect my own father.
But I do have my Heavenly Father. He is always there for me. He loves me no matter what, even when I screw up or when I'm not pleasant in response to my siblings. 
I hope that in the future things will finally turn for the better, and my relationship with my earthly father can be fixed. Until then, I wait and learn to be an obedient daughter of my Heavenly Father.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Chapter Three

        Brenwyyn woke up the next morning feeling sore and cramped. Just then she remembered what had gone on the previous day. She woke up Garrett. “Garrett, I’m going to try and find Mom and Dad. If I’m not back by sunset, take Mythran, Niilus, and Loranne and leave. Go far away. Who knows what the Torax are here for!”
      She started to leave when Garrett grabbed her arm. “You can’t leave by yourself. I’ll go with you.”
      “No! You need to stay here and watch over the three of them.”
      “Then take Mythran with you at least.”
      “No. He’s been through a lot already.” She glanced at Mythran who looked perturbed even in his sleep. “I got this.” They gave each other a hug and Brenwyyn left.
      She climbed out of the safe house and looked around. The village was destroyed. The houses were all smashed and some of them were on fire. She walked to the house and decided to start her search there. Some of the walls were left standing, but most of it had been destroyed.
      She recognized the front wall to her bedroom, with her shelves still miraculously standing with most things on it. She looked around and noticed her ceramic box of jewellery all smashed on the floor. The necklace her mother had given her when she was three was still intact. The red ruby’s were in the shape of a beautiful flower. The entire flower as a whole was surrounded by a thin layer of gold.
      Brenwyyn fastened it on her neck. She decided it would be her reminder of her mother. She would never give up looking for her parents.
      Brenwyyn continued her search along what was the rest of the hallway towards the front room. She found other little trinkets littered around like her mother’s favourite pot and Mythran’s play sword. She found no evidence of her parents though.
      She moved outside and started walking down the street. There were no signs of life anywhere. It was quiet enough to hear the crackling of little fires around the houses. Most of everything had dyed down into little embers. It was sad to see the village where she grew up so destroyed and crumbling apart.
      Brenwyyn passed the little pond where the older women kept up a beautiful garden, filled with every kind of flower and fern she had ever seen. There were rocks and statues placed around the garden as well as the multitude of plants. A little stone path was put in as well, weaving around the garden. In the middle of the garden was a wooden bench that her father had also made. It was one of his first pieces that he had made.
Her father had proposed to her mother on that very bench in the middle of that garden many years ago. It was one of the most beautiful spots for that special moment to happen, especially with the smell of the flowers all around.
      She then realised that most of the garden hadn’t been touched in the chaos. It calmed her heart a little, knowing that this garden would give hope to her village if they were to be released. This all happened so fast Brenwyyn knew that it had to be planned. The Torax were never known to have such thought threw and quick take-overs, and never for an unknown reason.
      She turned a corner and stopped abruptly, seeing a Torax looking through a bunch of garbage. It heard her and turned its head to see what the noise was. It growled and bared it’s teeth. Her sadness quickly turned into fear that now came from the pit of her stomach.
      Brenwyyn spun around and started sprinting back the way she came. She could hear the Torax’s thunderous bounds behind her, coming closer and closer. She kept running, even though she could barely breathe anymore. At one point she noticed she hadn’t heard the Torax’s loud steps anymore. Quickly ducking into a little alleyway, she was able to think again. She tried putting all of the evidence together.
This group of Torax just destroyed a peaceful little village. Why would anybody want to disrupt a peace like that? Besides, Torax weren’t known to come this far north. They were more like animals that hunted on the giant animals of the Southern Grasslands, like Feyssa’s.
      The Feyssa’s were almost as big as Torax but ran on all fours. Their teeth were so big that they wouldn’t let their mouths completely shut. Last of all, they had tails as long as their body and were used as a multi-purpose tool. They could grab things with it or use it as a form of a whip against danger.
      The Torax loved to hunt Feyssa, mainly because of the reason that they were a challenge to eat. Though they were also a threat because the Feyssa would go after Torax children.
Brenwyyn could not figure out why they would go after Fairewood. How were they a threat to the Torax? The Torax were rarely known to go after humans as well. This whole situation was getting more confusing, but Brenwyyn knew that she needed to figure it all out so she could find her parents before her siblings left Fairewood.
      She turned a corner and stopped dead in her tracks. Somehow the Torax got in front of her and knew that she was coming. He grabbed her arms and started pulling her. She tried to get free, but it was of no use. She was way too tired from the last two days of running and being stressed.
      Now that she was right beside a Torax, she felt very small compared to the animal. The feeling of being small was a new thing to her, since she was one of the tallest people she knew. His short skinny arms and long fingers would not let her go, but didn’t hold her too tight enough to hurt her. Brenwyyn felt as though the Torax was trying not to hurt her. It also smelled oddly of forest berries. Torax lived in grasslands and not anywhere near forests. This all was making less sense.
      When they passed the church, they immediately entered the courtyard of the Town Centre. The Town Centre was where Lord Auster and his family stayed. This multi-use building was also used for banquets and weddings, and when the town council got together, they met here.
      When they got closer to the large building, she noticed all of the men on one side and all of the children on the other. Each side was guarded by ten Torax. She tried looking for her father, but couldn’t see him. Their were too many people in such a small area that it was very hard to pick out one person. Brenwyyn wondered where all of them women had been located when she noticed that she didn’t see any of them anywhere.
      The large Torax brought her into a side door of Town Hall. They entered into a small side room and then entered into a long hall way. They traveled almost all of the way to the end, when they turned to a door on the right. The Torax opened the door and shoved her inside. There, she found fifteen teenage girls and six older women. The older women were aiding the girls to clean themselves off. There were three tubs of water that they were using to clean, each behind a stand to give them a little more privacy. She got into, what seemed as, a line to wait for her turn.
      The Torax left the room but Brenwyyn could tell by its shadow that it was waiting right outside the door. She knew that she had no chance of escaping that way. She decided to see what was going on here first before she would try to take off.
      While she waited for her turn to clean off, she looked at everyone in the room to see if she recognized anyone She noticed a girl who had been in her class a few times at school over the years. Her name was Lana but she didn’t really have the same interests so they never talked too much to each other.
      A few of the other girls lived around where her home was, but they were all older than her so she didn’t know them as well. Two of the older women, she recognized, were friends of her mother’s, though she didn’t know them that well either. One woman she knew from the Eatery Inn. She didn’t know her name though because her family didn’t go to eat there very often. She and her husband owned the inn. Their place was where people from out of town trading slept when staying overnight.
      It was a quaint little place on the south side of Fairewood. It very old but kept in great condition. On special occasions, Brenwyyn’s family would go eat there. The food was fantastic as well. She always had a pita filled with meat and vegetables with home made Kanz spice sauce. It was spicy, which was Brenwyyn’s favourite kind of food.
      That woman who owned the Eatery Inn, motioned her over. It was her turn now to clean off. She went behind the stand, took her clothes off, and placed them on the back of the chair beside her. She stepped in the water, grabbed the floating sponge and started scrubbing.
      “Do you mind if I come around?” asked the woman.
      Brenwyyn sunk more in the water and then replied “No, I don’t mind.”
      The woman came around the stand and sat down in the chair and introduced herself. “I’m Mrs. Grennel. I’m going to tell you a few things that you should know about what‘s going on. I am guessing, though,  that you’ve been wondering already.”
      She paused and Brenwyyn nodded her head once.
      “Prince Ruthord is here to claim a wife. He’s demanded that every young woman be cleaned and be deemed appropriately dressed to be showcased for him. Don’t do anything to get yourself noticed. Unless for some silly reason you want to be with him.”
      Mrs. Grennel stopped for a second to get some soap to wash Brenwyyn’s hair. Brenwyyn noticed from how murky the water was that she had been really dirty just from the last few days two days. She didn’t really like getting dirty so this didn’t happen very often. Mrs. Grennel started talking to her again while she rinsed Brenwyyn’s hair off with a pail of water beside her.
      “I believe I’ve seen you around with your family in my eatery. What’s your name?”
      “My name’s Brenwyyn. My family really enjoys the food you and your husband serve.”
      “Oh thank you,” she replied smiling. Her smile suddenly turned into a frown. “If for any reason the prince chooses you, take your family and get out of here, and farther the better. He will come after you with all he has.”
      “ I will do that, Mrs. Grennel. Thank you for being so kind to me.”
      “Nonsense! We’re trying to protect our village! We’re all family. That’s what we’re supposed to do.”
Brenwyyn suddenly remembered how she came to be here at the Town Centre.
      “Mrs. Grennel, have you seen my parents at all? My siblings and I haven’t seen them since yesterday.”
      “No, I’m sorry, dear. I haven’t seen them. I’ll ask around for you, though.”
      “Thank you, Mrs. Grennel.” She was glad that there was someone she could trust. She finished getting rinsed and dried off, and was handed a new pair of undergarments to wear. After she put those on, she was ushered into the next room through another door.
      Here, there were four racks of dresses of all shapes, sizes, and colours. One of the women saw her come in and brought her to one of the racks. “Hi, I’m Ms. Wornz. Let’s just put some of these up to you, and see what looks good, shall we?” Ms. Wornz first picked out a green satin dress that was knee high and had only straps to hold it up. “I don’t think green is your colour, my dear. Well, how about I ask you this question. Do you know what kind of colours look good on you?”
      Brenwyyn wasn’t sure what colours but said “My mom used to get reds and purples for me to wear.”
      “Alright, that sounds good,” replied the older lady. She grabbed a red dress that was also knee length and had a collar and no sleeves. “Nope, not quite right, but I do love the colour.”
      There weren’t anymore reds in the rack so they moved on to the next rack. She found a red dress that was floor length, sat on the edges of her shoulders, and had red sparkles starting from the left shoulder and went down to the right hip. The dress had more fabric on the bottom, letting it billow out if she twirled in it. “I like this one very much.  Try it on,” said Ms. Wornz, handing Brenwyyn the dress. She carefully slid into the dress and had Ms. Wornz tie up the back. It was a perfect fit. Everyone in the room turned around from what they were doing to take a look at her. She was brought to a mirror. She looked in the mirror and thought that she looked beautiful. She had never worn a dress quite like this.
      “You look beautiful,” said a girl watching. She gave Brenwyyn a sincere smile. “Though maybe too much.”
      Brenwyyn was then brought into the next room. There, makeup was applied and hair was done up. She was finally done. Brenwyyn. looked in the mirror and saw her self completely transformed. She almost didn’t even recognize herself. She really hoped that the Prince wasn’t going to see her any different from the other girls.
      Once Brenwyyn was completely finished, she headed off through the next door. On the other side was a line of five of the young women that were washed and dressed at the same time she was.
      An elaborately dressed woman came up to inspect the line of young women. When she reached Brenwyyn, she looked up and down and looked satisfied. She looked Brenwyyn in the eyes and winked with a mischievous smile on. Brenwyyn started to become worried. When it was time to go out, a Torax standing guard came and escorted her to the assigned area in front of Prince Ruthord.
      She was stopped in the very middle of the room. This room was the one used for weddings and large village parties. Surrounding the room, standing by the walls were mostly made up of women, which she guessed all belonged to Fairewood. There was also a visible break in between the village women and the women that had come along for the trip with the prince. They were also highly elegantly dressed, like none she had seen before. Why didn’t the prince just pick one of them?
      She finally turned her gaze to the man sitting on a throne on the large front platform. The throne must have been brought with them because she had never seen it before. She was also pretty sure that it was made of gold.
      The man on the throne stood up, and flipped back his cape. He looked like a charming man, but he had this evil look in his eyes. “Spin until I say stop,” he ordered. She did. Brenwyyn and Emillienna used to go star spinning all the time. They would They would have contests to see who could spin the longest without before getting completely dizzy and falling down. Finally he told her to stop.
      “Bring her closer to me,” he ordered the same Torax that ushered her out to the floor. The Torax grabbed her arm, his grip firm but not hurtful, and brought her to the prince.
      Being so close, she could see the two inch long scar starting from his right temple to the middle of his cheek. His eyes were a cold blue and his black hair was slicked back. He wore a dark blue shirt and matching pants with a red line down the sides of the pants. His robe was the same shade of red and had a blue line going down the sides.
      “We will dance.” He took off his robe showing his well-defined biceps and forearms. The music started and they walked onto the floor. They started to dance the traditional dance of her village. Brenwyyn thought that it was really weird that he knew how to do their dance. Since every village had their own dance that they‘d dance at special occasions, other people didn’t usually learn another villages’ dance. It was also inappropriate to learn another dance not your own. By the look on everyone’s faces, they were all beginning to become very angry.
      They danced for quite some time. Brenwyyn’s dress swayed and billowed up when he spun her. She almost felt a connection between them, but she pushed those thoughts out of her mind, knowing he was not someone to be trusted.
      They finally finished and he went back onto his chair. After a minute he stated to everyone who was watching, “This girl will be my wife. Bring her to her tent.”
      His people clapped and cheered, while everyone from her village was very quiet except for one gasp that came from the front corner of the room. Brenwyyn looked to find where the gasp came from and caught a glimpse from her mother. Right before she could run towards her, Brenwyyn was then escorted to the tent that she was assigned to by four Torax.
      She wanted so badly to go back and tell her mother that everyone was okay. She wanted to give her mother a hug and to tell her that she loved her. Though she knew that there was no way she was going to get that. It was too dangerous anyways. Once she was able to make a run for it, the prince would try to find any kind of leverage to get her to come back to him. At least her mother was still alive. Which meant that her father was probably alive somewhere too. Just knowing that her parents were alive, it gave her a calm peace inside of her.
      When she entered the tent, she noticed that the whole tent was a deep red and had blue chairs and tables. It was a very large tent. In the back was a huge red bed that could be closed off into a room. The whole room was red and blue. She sat down on a big, fur, blue chair. It was very comfortable. After a moment of sitting and admiring the tent, it hit her. She was going to be the wife of Prince Ruthord. Brenwyyn started crying, her makeup smearing. She didn’t care.
      “I have to get out of here.” She decided to try to just leave through the front. She stepped outside the door, and immediately, four speared pikes were crossed in front of her. The four Torax who escorted her were the ones wielding the dangerous weapons.
      “No!” boomed one of the Torax.
      “I’m sorry, I won’t try that again. I guess I won’t be trying that way out.” She re-entered the tent and lay down on the bed. She was exhausted. She tried to plan her escape, but instead, she fell asleep, her thoughts dominated by the ice cold eyes that stared deep into her.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Country Girl at Heart

I've never lived in the country. The closest to any life like that would have been for 4 months when I stayed in a house with a good friend across the street from the camp (Fair Havens) we worked at.

     The barn was very old and wearing away, used as a storage for the camp. The house was falling apart, the bricks coming loose and the shingles falling off. Surrounded by tall pine trees, hiding the house from the highway.

          But it was rustic and beautiful. This building has housed so many families since it was built in the 1800s, it has so much history. There was a well farther in the backyard, which we used at first because the water hadn't been hooked up yet. The huge handle, up and down, pumping the water into our little pale.
          Then there was the chicken coop KL worked on before I had gotten there. A run was added to the front and was made predator free! At the end of June on the 24th, KL picked up our 7, pre-ordered chickens. They were adorable and laid eggs for us almost every day.
          I also grew my own vegetable garden too! Though as this was my first time planting a garden, it ended up being in planters that didn't have enough room for the many plants I got. Next summer I plan on actually digging up a garden in front of the old barn, and having plenty of room. I was able to pick two different kinds of beans throughout the summer, though. They were delicious!
          I loved having this place to get away too. I enjoyed having my quiet time, not being around the hustle and bustle of people doing things all the time around the camp. My brother, GH, came around once to check the place out. He told me "There is no way I could stay here, it's way too out of the way. I thrive with being around people. But I know this is your spot. It's perfect."
          After this past weekend of being in Toronto, it's just reinforced the fact that there's no way I'd move into a huge city. TOO BUSY. I was freaked out walking through the streets, passing creepy looking people, as if something was about to go down. I grabbed onto GH's back pack and didn't let go!
          We were also in the Eaton Center on Saturday afternoon, waiting in Bluenotes for BC. I couldn't stand it. Too many people. Feeling...claustrophobic! I was having trouble breathing and ran out of there. I went around the corner and sat against the wall, put my Camp Rock 2 music on my BBT and putting my earphones in, I had a moment to relax. No thank you. I like the quiet.
          Even after coming home from the weekend and telling my mom, she knows i'm going to be somewhat of a country hick. I've told her for years that I want out of Windsor. I'm just not a fan.
          My plan is, Lord willing:

Finish this semester with flying colours,

                                 go to camp from May 1 to September 3, living with KL for preseason (May/June) and
                                          cabin parenting for the summer as well as Junior High YMT,

                                                                                  moving to London and renting a house with AM and
                                                                                        EK, getting a job, taking a few art classes,
                                                                                                 cleaning and cooking up a storm every night,
                    moving back home to Windsor the following spring and getting a job
                              for the summer,
                                                        returning to the University of Windsor to finish up and upgrade my
                                                                   first semester,
                                   moving back to London for that Winter semester and getting
                                             into Western's kinesiology program straight into the teaching section,

        finding a boy, and getting married within it all,
                                                                  settling down north of Toronto into an old house and renewing it,
                                                                        while raising a family and being a stay at home mom with
                                                                                        chickens, a black lab descendent of Snowflake,
                                                                                                    going to call her Jasmine,
                                                                              and getting a few horses,
                                                   perhaps when the kids have moved out I will go start back to teaching
                                          phys. ed. and working with Junior youth students (grade 6-8).

That's the plan. I'm excited. But it's all Lord-willing. Perhaps my God wants me elsewhere. We shall see what comes at me, and I hope to be ready for whatever my heavenly father has in store for me!

Coming again another time,

Rebekah J.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A Little Taste of Freedom and Adventure

FIRST OF ALL. I fail at postings...I should have known that already. Since I was 8 I've had a diary, some years there may have been 3 journal entries during that year? So I'm going to try a little harder on here since. Aha.

This past weekend I had the awesome opportunity of going to Toronto! It was a GREAT weekend. I think the part I liked the most, was going back to Toronto and the ROM without parents. Not that I didn't enjoy doing that when I was little with my family! It was just nice to have the feeling of responsibility...getting our own directions and such for example. Most of the weekend, we played it by ear and it happened as we went along. Or taking the TTC, GoTrain, the Tram, the Subway, and the ViaRail...all in one weekend! It was very new to the three of us (GH, CF, and myself). Very exciting!

The boys, GH and CF.
Our first ride on the Subway!
    The weekend started off very early, for myself anyways. I had to finish packing my things the night before, I really don't leaving that to the morning of. Finally jumped in bed by 1am, full of energy because I was so excited for the weekend!
     The next morning I woke up at 5, I still needed to deliver newspapers...so early, but used to the job that my family has been doing since I was 8 years old. Woke up my sister and we headed off to deliver. Finally arrived back at out house at 6:20...I still had to shower! Luckily, I took a super fast shower, blow dried, AND straightened my hair. I felt very proud of myself.
    CF arrived with his dad at 7 and drove us to our grandparents house. We left Windsor by 7:30! Wow!
    After 5 long hours of listening to music on my BBT and CF's phone, creeping each others pictures on FB on my BBT, and making two stops along the way, we arrived in Toronto! My grandparents dropped us off close enough to an entry into the Subway system and we were on our own, ready to face this big 'ol city!
Walking towards Ryerson, of course
Gideon notices this shoe in a shop window!
      We took the Subway south for 15 minutes when we got off  at the Eaton Center. That is a HUGE mall. OH. MY. WORD. Crazy in there, especially with everyone still doing shopping with all the sales.
     We found an exit close to Ryerson and headed towards the school. We passed a nearly burned down building where the whole street was sectioned off and a fire truck and two police cars sat parked. It was really crazy.
     Got to one of the many building of Ryerson U...which was NOT the Engineering building. No one was really around, and no tours were going around so we went exploring! Muahaha! It was quite exciting looking around the nursing/sociology building. The boys decided we'd come back on Sunday after we had actually found directions to the right building.
We rode on the Tram from the Eaton Center
to the Dimsum in China Town.
     We met up with a friend from high school, who now goes to Queens in their Engineering program, but who was still staying with her dad in Markham. She came down and met us back at the Eaton Center and we mall crawled for a bit until we decided we wanted some food.
     BC led us into China town to a Dimsum (small bites) also called Sky Dragon. It was really interesting food! Thankfully because BC happens is Chinese and knows the language, she was able to get us more normal food. Aha. We enjoyed shrimp, beef, squid tentacles, some rice pudding dish, cow tendons and jellyfish. I didn't go near the cow tendons (reminds me too much of anatomy class, I can't stomach it because it's so familiar).
CF, BC, and GH waiting in line to buy
our GoTrain tickets to Markham.
    We stayed there until 4 or so, knowing that we need to get tickets and catch the GoTrain up to Markham to meet our aunt at 6. We walked back to the Eaton Center and hopped back on the Subway where we had to go back down to Union Station where we bought our GoTrain tickets. We sat down and chatted for awhile, knowing our train didn't arrive in the station for another 45 minutes.
     Finally the train and arrived and we were told which platform to go to. We headed off, the crowd was so large I felt like we were a heard of cows entering their pen. I checked the pocket my ticket was in...or I thought it was in. "Uh-oh". I couldn't find it. I checked all of my other pockets in my pants, my sweater, my coat and my purse. NOTHING.
The 4 inches of a beautiful white
layer of snow I woke up to!
      Shoot. I'm in huge trouble. We got on the train anyways and prayed that this would be a time no one checked for our tickets. Thankfully, no one did and we arrived safely in Markham where our aunt was awaiting our arrival. We quickly jumped in the van and started off, CF and GH telling my aunt what silly thing I had done.
     We got home and quickly had dinner, but had enough time to explain to the rest of the family and my grandparents my blond moment back at Union Station. Jokingly my aunt said "Now don't forget your tickets for your cousins play tonight!" while handing me my ticket. "Pffft. As if."
    We finished dinner and quickly got into the car and all buckled in. My aunt turned around and asked, "does everyone have their tickets?".
    "You have got to be kidding..." I thought to myself. I had left my ticket on the front table in the foyer. "Be right back!" I got my ticket and ran back to the car and we were off! CF from then held on to my train ticket for Sunday night and my ROM ticket.
Boys being grumpy because we
had to wait in the cold...and think
everything is my fault.
     We arrived at the theater where my cousins high school play/musical was held. WOW. At our high school we just presented our musicals in our school gymnasium. The musical was called "Wonderful Town". Really weird plot and we found there were a lot of loose ends that weren't put together again, but it was very well done! The three leads (two female and one male) were absolutely amazing. Their voices as well were fantastic. The three hour musical finished, we being satisfied and our cousin playing his querky part perfectly.
    Back at the house, I got to spend time with my cousin Rachel, whom I haven't spent time with for over a year, so it was really awesome to be able to catch up. My aunt also insisted that plans were made PERFECT for the next morning (since we wanted to meet up with LC and PMcT). We were just going to wing it, we all had texting. But she wouldn't allow it, therefore a call to LC at 11pm was done. Fell asleep around 1:30.
Me waiting at the bus stop in
Markham...the only picture I took
of myself the entire weekend.
    I got up the next morning at 8 to 4 inches of fluffy white snow. Wonderful. It was actually very beautiful outside...Windsor doesn't get much of this at all!
    My aunt dropped us off at a TTC bus stop where we waited for 10 minutes for the bus. We took the 15 minutes down to Scarborough Town Center where we met up with LC and PMcT. After having some breakfast for the boys and coffee for LC and myself, we got onto the TTC train, then transfered onto the Subway, bringing us into downtown Toronto! Woot!
    After getting lost for a minute and going the wrong direction (the boys blaming us two girls), we righted ourselves and finally made it to the ROM!
     Guess where we went first?
Dun dun dun....the weapons part of the museum. Of course. We had two army boys with us...as well as GH who knows a decent amount about these sort of things. LC and I talked about who was returning to FH the next summer...to PMcT shaking his head at us. Hahaha. We just weren't as interested in the history of guns and weapons. Yeah, it was kinda cool, but with not really having any knowledge about it...we were good with looking forward to this summer.
The three cuties dove into kids tunnel under
 the moose, where I just HAD to get a picture!
     Our favourite part was the animals. That area is my personal favourite, bringing back so many memories. It was fantastic. We went through the bat cave as well. I didn't really mind it so much, but while I was listening to the commentary everyone else had made their way out the other side. I started towards the other end when LC came back in quickly, telling me that the boys were going to scare me when I got out that end. We went back the way we came and went around the other side. (I KNEW that if I had continued without warning there would have been people staring from my high pitched scream...i'm a little twitchy, what can I say?).
     We also visited the dinosaurs. CF and I dug up some bones. Good times. =)
     We visited all of the areas except for the art, unfortunately. I was looking forward to seeing it! No one else was interested though...
This picture goes along
with the next one.
     2pm came along....Lunch time! Headed out and grabbed some McDonalds and Subway. We went back into the ROM afterwards, LC really wanted to see the mummies still. The boys, we think though, were down with the ROM before lunch. After we left, we headed to the Eaton Center because BC wanted to see us one last time. We walked around, CF and myself bought two shirts each. Yay!
     We said our goodbyes to BC and hopped back on the Subway and the TTC returning to PMcT's car. Before heading home we made a pop and chips, and blockbuster stop.
     Making it to the LC's house, we saw LC and IC! They watched the first movie with us (Minority Report = fantastic movie). Followed by 3:10 to Yuma (interesting Western movie, though I had to turn away at some points because of some bloody or gross scenes). Last but not least, we watched Predator. I've only wasted my time a few times watching stupid my movies. For example, A Cinderella Story with Selena Gomez. This movie, Predator, was tied with that movie in my books. NO plot. Lots of guns. Lots of blood and gore and grossness. Thank goodness for GH and PMcT warning me for every gory scene. NEVER AGAIN.
No way?! We never knew that! (We laughed)
     Bedtime was at 2:45 for myself (LC already hit the sack) while finding out the next morning the boys fell asleep by 5...talking about the army and guns. Mmmmhm.
    Got up at 9 and showered, feeling much cleaner from this crazy weekend. Everyone got up (boys are slow..who knew?!).
     After going to church, we came back and made lunch, grilled cheese! I sliced the cheese, and made the sandwhiches while PMcT toasted and buttered the pieces of bread. I had never made grilled cheese on a skillet before...so the temperature was a little high and burned a few of the sandwiches...I blame PMcT. He didn't finish the last batch so I did them, where I was distracted from flipping the grilled cheese...oops! But nothing BBQ sauce can't fix. YUMMY!
Hard to see, but the sun looked like it
was shining straight up! The sunset
on the train was beautiful.
     After being saying our goodbyes to LC and PMcT at the Subway station, we left back to the right Ryerson building. They boys explored while I sat watching the bags, listening to Camp Rock 2 and holding onto CF's knife...I felt somewhat safer.
     CF feeling satisfied, we then checked out a comic book store (SO SUPER AWESOME!!!!) then an Army surplus store for CF where he bought a very large knife and a new tilly hat.
     We ran back to a Subway station and hitched it back to Union Station where we got our ViaRail tickets for 4:45, stopping at Harvey's for dinner before running to the train to attempt to get a booth of seats together. Nopes, didn't happen. I sat by myself most of the ride and listened to music. It was a nice change from driving (making that trip from home to past camp and back at least 4 trips a year these last three years).
     Finally arrived home at 10pm and was safe and sound. Was one of my most favourite and memorable weekends!
Here are a few more pictures of the weekend!
Walking the streets in downtown TO with BC.
Gigantic tv screen outside the Eaton Center.
Two of three of my knights in shining armor. 
I love these people.
Childhood memories being brought back to life.
These boys are great. Aside from teasing me the ENTIRE weekend about EVERY single little thing.
I was called a ginger and a blonde at the same time?!
   Until next time...

Rebekah J.