Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A new found enjoyment

Beautiful Colours

He made the leaves turn colour
and told the roses "one last bloom"
before a frigid over-taking.
The squirrels collected and
stored food to last through
the icy winter months.

Cold and powerful, the wind
swept through everything
it could touch.
The rain, turning from warm
to cold, warned of the snow
that would soon cover the
hardening ground.
No longer is the dirt and
rich soil able to give
life and make strong
the plants and flowers.

To some,
death was closing in,
quietly invading.
Taking over the life
that had just begun
months before.
They give up themselves
and their souls.

But to others,
a quiet, peaceful sleep
was entering in gently.
The One who breathed life
was whispering a lullaby.

It was time for rest,
a time for renewal.
A time to heal and recuperate
before the next biggest reveal
when the pouring rains should come again.

The view, so serene and full of prayer.
One day when we become
stronger and the most vibrant
in colour we'll ever be.

I've never really written like this before. I started writing in a journal before I go to bed, and write my last thoughts. This poem, I guess I could call it, was just something I had on my mind. When I read it to my mom the next afternoon, she started to tear up and suggested that I take a writing class. Perhaps...


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Nothing to Prove

Hey folks,
    I know it's been forever since I've been on and posted anything..I'm sorry!
          Life gets crazy. There's a lot to think about. Feeling like we're short on time...So I just want to share with you this song that I heard on SiriusRadio the other day, and it made me slow down for a second to think.

Nothing to Prove
by Phillips, Craig and Dean

You taught me how to ride a bike, 
tie my shoes and fly a kite,
how to swim and how to fish, 
to see a star and make a wish,
said it's ok to make mistakes
just don't get stuck in yesterday
forgive, forget and move ahead
because life is what you make of it.

Now you're gone, and all I have
 are memories I hold dear.
But if I'm quiet, I hear your voice
still ringing in my ears

Saying live with no excuses,
love with no regrets,
laugh a lot and leave this life with nothing left unsaid,
make this world a better place,
don't be afraid to cry.
And when it's finally time to say goodbye,
there's nothing to prove,
nothing to lose, 
nothing to hide.

You see life can not be measure by
the place you live, the car you drive, 
the thing that counts the day you die,
is who are, and what's inside.

So tell the truth, don't ever lie,
integrity at any price,
your words, your bond, your highest price.
So guard it close, and live your life.

So many things I learned from you,
'bout life and love and play.
But I learned more by how you lived, 
And why I heard you say,

Live with no excuses,
love with no regrets,
laugh a lot and leave this life with nothing left unsaid,
make this world a better place,
don't be afraid to cry.
And when it's finally time to say goodbye,
there's nothing to prove,
nothing to lose, 
nothing to hide.

I only want to live my life half as well as you,
to leave behind what I received, it's all I want to do.

"Do not worry worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Mathew 6:34.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

.'.'.Give Me a Sign.'.'.

This song brings me back every time, to the God who has everything under control.


Light up the Sky - The Afters

When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in


So I run straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do


That You are with me
That You are with me

Monday, March 7, 2011

Sitting by the Candle Light

First of all,

Oh man, where has time gone?! I haven't blogged since Valentine's day!
Hopefully that will change, because I have quite a few things I want to blog about.

I'll get right on that.

Definitely need  to describe my amazing trip to Florida and Disney World.
Why I'm not enjoying school.
And how out of touch I feel with all of my friends.
Until then...

I LOVE candles

My mom adores candles. I got that from my mom.
Candles EVERYWHERE. And they have to be beautiful smelling ones.

Vanilla is my absolute favourite

When company comes over, they ALL get lit.
Half an hour before hand, so the house smells amazing.

Candles are also VERY romantic. 
Whoever my man ends up to be, I hope he puts the two together. 
It'll be very hard for me to say no if candles are involved.

Unfortunately, it is time do my art homework. 
A bid you all a good night!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Beautiful Love

Personally, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day.

Why is their only one specific day to make your loved one feel special? Why about all of the other days of the year? Why not every day of the year?

It just seems limited.

On another level, my mom has it rough. She's going through so much. Raising five psychotic children, dealing with finances, being as involved as she can all the time, family being supported only by a half day teaching position, two family members dealing with Autism, and two sons still in high school each begun a relationship or close to it (just to name a few). And if that wasn't enough, she decided to go to Teachers College to become a teacher to help financially support our family. Since September, it has been utter chaos at the Hesman house. How do we keep on going? This is nuts. Everyone is on each other's nerves all the time, yelling all the time. Dinner at the dinner table together...I don't even remember the last time.
Where is the love?! HOW?
I don't understand. Neither do I understand how my mom manages to stay strong through it all. She is the most Godly woman I know. I completely look up to her. I wish I could be a mother like her someday.

We never used to get along. It was my dad and me. We were both the quiet type. He had the awesome, typical, father sense of humour.
But when things changed after the move to Windsor, we didn't get along anymore. Since my mom and I had completely different personality's, we just didn't agree.
Though for a time, not having a parent to talk to, I needed to do something. My mom and my relationship has gotten SOOO much better in the last 6 years.

My favourite's:
- me doing nothing after my last fifth year semester, sticking around home from February-April and spending lots of time with my mom at home
- dates involving clothes shopping and appetizers at Applebee's (YUM)
- dreaming about her house on the Detroit River right beside the University of Windsor
      - big enough to fit all five of us and our spouses and children when we come back for Christmas
      - room to rent for university students
      - park/playground across the street perfect for football games
      - playground in the back
      - property goes all the way to the river
      - a little island off of the property
      - super huge, very old house with LOTS of character

I LOVE MY MOMMA. You are the most amazing mother ever. I'm so proud of you.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

dance, dance until I die

Thursday Night Latin Dance
First two weeks was Ballroom Dance, but there was only a four person turn out. 
Unfortunately became cancelled.


I got the choice of attending Latin instead.
       I LOVE it.

We're learning the Beat Jive and the Cha-Cha. I adore the Beat Jive.
 It is SO much fun. Very exhilarating.

The Cha-Cha is a lot of fun as well, but I'm having a harder time getting the moves right. 
Lots of hip movement! Aha.
This move is called New York. It's the hardest one
to do properly in the Cha-Cha
My mom and I have always fantasized that when us five kids each got married or had a bf/gf, we would go out and get dancing lessons. 
               But, when we started watching Dancing with the Stars back last spring, I just had to try it.
So this year I did the plunge and tried it out. 
       Dancing is so much fun. My sister and I make up moves to almost every song we listen to. We memorize songs like Hannah Montana's "Hoedown Throwdown". Or we watch youtube videos from camp rock hundreds of times until we can accomplish the dance. (Sadly, I have learned most of the dance moves from the entire movie of Camp Rock 2: Final Jam).
                             My partner last week, happened to be amazing. It was his first dance class, but he led! There's a little bit of pushing and pulling involved. Hard to explain with words, but but it's all in his hand with mine. This guy, pretty much mastered that. Twirling me around and leading the dance moves we were learning (since we seemed to be learning faster than the other 30 people in the class) we had time to fool around. 
     Best night so far. 

I'd love to continue with this. I'd take latin/ballroom over hip hop any day! Unless my sister was in the same hip hop class...

     Get up and dance, never stop until I die
                      I dance before the Lord, it pleases him so.
             He's the leader in this one, don't ever let me go!

Chapter Four

       Brenwyyn woke up to a noise in her tent. She slowly grabbed the light on her left, trying not to make a sound, and got ready to strike at whatever caused the disturbance. With her other hand, she quickly turned on the other light.
       Sitting on the same blue chair she had tried out the night before, was Prince Ruthord. For one second she contemplated throwing the light anyways.
       “What are you doing in here?” she asked.
       “Well, since we will be married, I thought I would come over here and get to know my future wife,” he said.
       “Don’t I get any say in this matter?” Brenwyyn asked, letting a hint of distaste show.
       “Of course! You get to tell me about yourself. Oh, you were thinking about getting married to me,” he laughed. “No, I get to do and have whatever I want.” His smile was sickening. Brenwyyn despised him. She actually disliked him even more meeting him in person.
       “How about I ask the questions and you just simply answer them. Why don’t you start with your name?”
       “Brenwyyn” she huffed.
       “I love it,” a very deceiving smile crossing his face. “How many siblings do you have?”
       Brenwyyn knew that it was a bad idea if he knew her family. If she escaped she only wanted him to search for her. “None,” she replied.
       “Only child are we? Me too!” There was a pause. “Have you ever been out of this village before?”
       “No” Brenwyyn was not very happy, and the prince could tell.
       “Why don’t you like me?” He pretended to pout.
       Brenwyyn couldn’t help answering. “You kill innocent people. How does someone do that and be ok with it? Sure you make it look like other people do it, but it’s just because you don’t want to actually do the dirty work yourself! You are also spoiled and completely arrogant!”
       “How do you know if they’re innocent or not? And how do know if I’m the one sending killers out? You have no proof.”
       “You’re unbelievable, so sneaky, hiding behind lies and deceit.”
       “Well how about we finish off for tonight and we’ll get together tomorrow. Your guards will escort you to my dining tent at ten tomorrow morning for breakfast. Be ready.” He blew a kiss as he left.
        Brenwyyn wanted to scream after him, yelling how he was a coward. The kiss, however, disgusted her and she was too late to say anything because he has already disappeared. wanted to get out of there even more than before. Now that she knew he was nauseating, she couldn’t stand to be near him for another second.
       Brenwyyn sat on her bed thinking for a few minutes and then decided to take her escape. She noticed it was dark out so she went behind her bed and tried lifting the back of the tent up. She could easily slip through and run away. She then wondered if it could be a trap. Prince Ruthord wouldn’t let small things like that go undone. She knew though, that right now, it‘d be her best chance. After checking to see that no one was coming, she quickly crawled out of the tent and darted behind a barrel. She was free and there was no trap. She ran as fast and as quietly as she could, hiding behind something if she saw someone approaching. She made it far out of the camp and kept running. She entered the area of houses where it was a bit safer, looking out for Torax that could still be roaming and searching.
       She ran past a house and slammed into someone. She looked up from her position on the ground and noticed it was her friend, Emerelle.
       “Bren, is that you?” Emerelle asked bewildered.
       “Yes, it’s me.”  Brenwyyn replied. “Thank goodness you’re okay!” They gave each other a big hug.
       “What’s going on? I’m so scared! There’s nobody around and my parents and my sisters have all disappeared!” she cried.
       “Prince Ruthord has come and was looking for a wife. He has control of the Torax somehow and was using them to hunt down and herd everyone towards Town Hall. All of the young women of Fairewood had to get washed up, put on a dress and make-up and go in front of Prince Ruthord so he could pick the lucky girl to be his wife,” Brenwyyn explained.
       “That’s awful! I feel so bad for the “lucky” girl.”
       “Well thanks. Cause that’s me,” Brenwyyn said, depressed.
       “What! No way! I mean, you are definitely one of the most beautiful girls here in Fairewood, but what are you going to do?”
       “I’m going to run. I was able to escape, but my disappearance will be found out sooner or later.”
       “Then run as far as you can and keep going. Never stop! He always gets what he wants!”
       “Well, not this time.”
       “I hope so! Be safe! I’ll miss you!”
       “I’ll miss you too!” they gave each other a long hug and said their last farewells.
       Brenwyyn was struggling to catch her breath while she ran because of her crying. She was so scared to leave the place that she knew so well, where everyone knew who she was. She was scared she would never see her friends again, or more importantly, her parents.
       When she finally arrived at the safe house, undetected, she noticed that it was closed. Brenwyyn wondered if they had already left. She decided to go in just in case. She climbed down slowly and softly landed on the floor. Suddenly, someone grabbed her waist and squeezed. When Brenwyyn looked down she could see the outline of Loranne holding onto her.
       “Brenwyyn! I’m so glad you’re safe! We were so worried! Garrett said we were going to have to leave without you.”
       “Well I’m here. Stop worrying. We have to leave now though. I’ll tell you guys what happened after we leave. Right now we need to get supplies like food and clothes and everything we’ll need for our long journey.”
       “Wait, what are you wearing? What’s the fancy dress for?” Mythran laughed.
       “I’ll explain later. Right now we need to get going as fast as we can!”
       “Fine. What do we need?” asked Mythran, who was ready to get going.
       “We need to get the wagon and the horses hooked up. Garrett, if you can take Mythran to do that and then meet us over by the forest, that’d be great. Niilus and Loranne will come with me and we’ll get food, clothes, blankets, and anything else we might need.”
       Garrett and Mythran took off towards to the stable, while Niilus, Loranne, and Brenwyyn headed toward the leftovers of their house. When they arrived they went to the garden first and loaded as many fruits and vegetables as they could into baskets. They got potatoes, tomatoes, strawberries, beans, cucumbers, apples, lettuce and five sunflowers. They brought the baskets to the area where they were to meet their other brothers, and then went back to collect more items.
       They entered the house and found seven blankets mostly intact and seven pairs of clothes for each person. After they brought the blankets and clothes to the meeting place, they went to the cellar and got all of the meat and as many spice’s that hadn’t been destroyed or broken. On the way to the meeting place, Loranne noticed her art supplies and grabbed them.
       “Can I bring these, Brenwyyn?” she asked.
       “I don’t know. They would take up needed space. But you know what, we should all grab something to remind us of our life here in Fairewood.”
       “Thank you Bren!”
       “Can I bring something too?” Niilus asked.
       “Of course. We’ll bring all of this stuff to the pile first and then we can go and look for an item each. We’ll go together, though, I don’t want you getting hurt or anything. Loranne, will you be alright if you stayed by the pile? Garrett and Mythran will be expecting us so you can tell them where we are and that they can grab something for themselves too?”
       “Yes, I can do that,” she replied.
       Niilus and Brenwyyn dropped off their load and headed back to the house, one last time. Niilus found his trunk he had made with their dad. It was special to him because of the fact that he was the youngest boy and didn’t get to have as much father and son time. They had a lot of fun working on that together.
       When Brenwyyn passed from the kitchen into the front room, she found a picture of their parents that Loranne had painted and new tears started streaming down her face. She was still having a hard time thinking of her parents being gone for forever, but she kept in mind that she saw her mother back at Town Center. She knew that if she told her siblings that they would be very unhappy towards her decision that they’re priority was to get out of Fairewood as fast as possible. Brenwyyn made up her mind that when her siblings were completely safe, she would go back and search for them.
       When she went to look in her parents’ bedroom she found her mother’s jewellery box and knew that that would be something that her mother would like back if she was to find her again.
       Brenwyyn couldn’t think of anything in particular that she wanted to keep so she went to retrieve Niilus from looking. When she found Niilus in their father’s wood shop, she saw him sitting on a stool, crying.
       “Niilus! Everything will turn out. Just wait and see,” Brenwyyn went beside her brother and gave him a side hug.
       “What if we never see our parents ever again?” Niilus’ tears came out all the faster.
       “I will find them. I promise.” Brenwyyn tried her best to reassure him. “Though we won’t have any chance of seeing them if we don’t get out of here now. I know that sounds pretty confusing, but I’ll be able to tell you all more when we leave.”
       Niilus stopped crying and took a breathe. He stood up and they gave each other a hug.
       “Alright, let’s get out of here. Oh, and I thought maybe it’d be a good idea to bring a stool for each of us. It’ll be a little more comfy than the ground.”
       “Good idea.” They both smiled and grabbed five stools and headed back to meet Garrett and Mythran.
       When they made it back, Garrett and Mythran were waiting there with Blazer and Heman attached to the wagon, ready to go.
       “So, we’re all ready to go. We packed everything on already,” said Garrett.
       “Yes, I think we’re all ready,” said Brenwyyn. They all looked back and stared back at everything they knew, knowing they would probably never see it again. All of them sighed and decided it time to head off.
       They started walking down the road when they heard a dog whimpering. Mythran went to investigate cautiously where the sound was coming from. When he pushed the bush back, he found Snowflake, the family dog. She was a big black dog. Their dad named her Snowflake because they got her on the day of the first snow of that winter.
       “Snowflake!” said Mythran excitedly. Everyone else was able to relax and they were all excited that Snowflake was still alive after she had disappeared right before chaos erupted from the take over.
       “She has a cut on her, Bren!” Loranne, said, worried. Brenwyyn found the cut on her left side, about as long as her hand. The crusted blood was evidence that it had been a while since she had got the cut.
       “She’ll be okay, Loranne. It’s stopped bleeding, so we just have to watch her if it starts to bleed anymore. Let’s make her a spot in the wagon where she can rest,” said Brenwyyn.
After Snowflake got settled into her new spot, the little family was finally off headed to an unknown future.